Updated: Aug 24
Throughout our lives, events happen around us and to us. Often, they come and go, and we are unaffected by them, there is no emotional resonance with which to cause us any long-lasting impact.
However, certain of life events have such profound impact that in my own works put a huge chunk of emotion into your bucket marked Emotions. This bucket is that feeling inside that you can physically feel when you think about such an event. How much of a chuck depends on the importance of the event to you personally? No-one has the same chuck sizes as you nor the same feeling inside, but one thing is for sure, we all have that bucket and it can get filled and overflow when you least expect it.
Over time we learn to live with the emotions sloshing around in our internal bucket as the bucket is only maybe 1/4 or 1/2 full. The more we hold it all in and not drain some of it out, then this is where the danger lies for all of us.
Drain some of your emotional bucket
For some, you can drain some of your emotional bucket by having a really good cry, scream and or a good chat with a friend or some-one else close to you, talking it all through and letting the emotional feelings out physically. For many other though, they do not drain any away, they do not feel able to open up, to talk it through with some-one, and time is not evaporating it either, so none has drained away. They just fight the feelings and keep them under wraps. When another major emotional event takes place and I am not just talking about negative events either, hugely joyous events can put another huge chunk in addition to what is already in your bucket adding to the volume sloshing around in there.
Why is talking important?
When you think about an issue you use different neurological pathways in the brain, so this tends to result in the same conclusions. However, then you talk through an issue, your brain uses a different neurological pathway, therefore the conclusions will be very different
You can often start to see the manifestations of your bucket getting fuller, perhaps feeling strangely weepy over a sad story or the news of a birth. This is your bucket wanting to drain just some of this excess out. Emotional responses are related to each other, happy, angry, feeling on a high, feeling on a low. The swings can get like a pendulum, joy, to indifference, to anger and back again. Getting angry at things that you would normally not think twice about, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of taking on a task at work or home even.
As you bucket gets fuller, the sloshing starts to spill over the edge of your bucket every now and then becomes more frequent. Emotional outbursts cannot be suppressed so easily anymore and the feeling inside as your bucket, now very much fuller is hard to keep stable, feelings such as totally overwhelmed and blind panic anxiety, start to become more of a weekly experience and you may find yourself wanting to run away from everything and never stop. The flight and fight has now just become flight as there is no fight left as your bucket has now started to spill over all the time and nothing can stop the manifestations.
For those who have got to this stage, it is more than likely, very few people will know that your bucket is getting fuller, the change is gradual, and they may just notice your under a little pressure at the moment, what with the contract, the new team, the new baby, the wedding plans, the move and all the other things, pouring more emotion into your bucket.
Get it back to "Normal" levels
What you are unlikely to realise, as your bucket is now pouring over on a daily basis, is that you are an amazing person who has coped with all of this and need to start to "Pour Out" your bucket and get it back to "Normal" levels.
This can be done with a simple chat, to some-one perhaps that you will never meet, as a start, call the Samaritans to get your bucket emptied on +44 116 123 and you can get start to get back to your old self! It will take time and it starts with pouring away that excess emotion and allowing yourself time. Once you have made that first step the rest follow.
As you return your bucket levels to normal and you can and will, as you talk about what is adding to the bucket thereby pouring away this overwhelming excess, you will raise your own awareness of yourself, your values of course and what you need and don't need.
Burnout can take years to fully recover from, YOU WILL feel instantly better as soon as you start to open up though! As soon as that buckets gets lower you feel better. The last dregs are the hardest to shift, but thats fine as your able to deal with that easily!
If you feel that you need medical intervention, speak to your GP in the first instance or other trained Professionals. Also having a mentor / coach can also help as they are not stakeholders in any part of your life and are 100% there for you to open to and talk through and share your inner thoughts and needs, in a safe and confidential environment. Neuro linguistic Programming (NLP) can help enormously too, by changing the emotional responses to the perceived negative feeling you have.
Events will add to your bucket ongoing, they do for everyone, so you must keep pouring away the excess to let more in! How you react to the thoughts can and Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP can help in many cases!
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