Updated: May 21
Know Thyself is attributed to Apollo over 2,000 years ago and it is thought that it was coined far earlier and he just borrowed it. Who-ever coined it hit the nail on the head to help drive inner contentment
What are your Values and Beliefs? Have you ever thought about them? What makes them vso important in supporting your mental wellbeing?
We have talked about, Communication Styles, Anxiety and Stress in previous posts, so today we are going to talk about their two siblings Values and Beliefs.
We often confuse the two because we have never really given any thought about the differences.
Values: Are inner concepts, such as Honesty, Integrity, Security, Justice, Decency and many more. They are fundamentally part of you and cannot easily be changed as they are not created out of experience. They are formed right at the start and will shape many of the things you do. Most people will have many values, but only 3 top Values that influence their day to day lives.
Beliefs are assumptions what you have learnt, understood, assumed about the world around you. Often can be changed when new awareness validates or invalidates the belief. Such as the World is flat! It's now proven that it not therefore we can change that
Knowing your 3 Top values is pretty rare unless you have gone through the process of exploring all your values and then working through these to see which are the main values.
So why is it important to me to know my values?
Often we can find ourselves in a situation, at work or outside, doing something at really goes against our values, we may even switch around the word for belief as we now know we are not likely to have spent to much time on thinking about them at all. Even so, we still do it and continue to do it, even if it causes us mental challenges, anxiety and stress beyond average expected levels. The reason why, is that the value that is being challenged you are aware of, However you are not aware of a top value that is over-riding the other to compel you to fulfil the need of those higher values.
A really good example of this was with client of mine. Again for confidentiality I have changed the identifiable information.
Trade Floor Dealer. John was in financial services and was working towards his qualifications. He joined a trading floor and hated every single minute of it from day one and what made it even worse was the "Lads Culture" after work. He found his boss obnoxious and he felt they had a mutual dislike of each other.
He was starting to suffer from anxiety and felt a great deal of stress just thinking about going to work...however he carried on like that for 2 years.
So why did he not just leave and get another job? He had no idea, he just felt trapped in the job and knew he needed to just get through it.
The reason was we worked through was his values.
Respect and Sincerity were high on his values list and these were being challenged daily. However, these where not in his top 3 values and whilst he was aware of the his value to respect others and to be sincere in his dealings, he was not aware of the top 3 values that took priority over all others. There were: Security, Acceptance and Team
Security His salary and bonus gave him financial stability
Acceptance: Although he didn't get on with his boss, the lads culture was like a club " All for one and One for All" which did make him feel accepted into the club
Team..he felt he owed it to the team to be there and not to leave!
So really knowing yourself can make a huge difference to your mental, professional and personal wellbeing.
Remember that if you ever hear some-one saying "I know them!" Just think..."you dont even know yourself, so how can you know them!"
The challenge for any business when there is an incogruity between the job and the employee is that they will likely be adding no real value to the role as they are not motivated by the job purpose, but the reward they get for being in post.