Updated: May 21
What makes knowing this important for positive interactions with those around us?
It takes quite a shift in awareness to understand this NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Presupposition. The key to understanding this is to look at the behaviour in a different way.
If we think about any behaviour we can see it in two ways:
Whether or not the behaviour is, from our point of view, good or bad, from their point of view it always has a positive intention for them, the individual who is displaying the behaviour.
Ok, so why is this important to know and be aware of?
When you know that their behaviour is to "reward, protect or to reinforce" their own inner feelings, beliefs and values, it allows you to explore more the motivations behind the behaviour. Feelings of Inferiority, Superiority, Resentment, Guilt and many others come into play
Now your own awareness has been raised, you can rather than reacting to the behaviour, either positively or negatively, you can be more objective in how you respond. Or in the case of the Karpman Drama Triangle, refuse point blank to engage in it.
Here are a few examples that you may recognise, but didn't realise what was actualy going on? The Karpman Drama Triangle is a great example of this. Also known as "The Oldest Game in Town"
The Three Players a Brief Overview:
1. The Victim: Often the Sky is falling on their heads and the Worlds troubles arrive at their door quite regularly as Perpertrators inflicting whatever the victim feels that they are a victim of. What the victim wants is to be fussed over and whilst it may seem odd, does NOT want to be rescued from their plight. They actualy enjoy this, as it helps them to admonish themselfs of any responsiblity. This is their reward. When being Rescued, they will more than likely attack the rescuer as they do not want to be rescued.
2. The Rescuer. This individual will be rushing first into help the victim, they themselves are armed with whatever tools they feel are needed as they need to be needed and will feel guilty if they don't, be it offering to do extra work or trying to give comfort to the injured Victim. They themselves will likely neglect their own work in place of the extra work they are taking on. This also rewards them for being the good samaritan and also enables them to feel superior by denegrating the ability of those they want to rescue
3. The Persecutor. They are the villan being the finger pointer, blaming and being angry with their Victim. The main drivers for thie Persecutor are the feeling of being more intelligent, being superior and cleverer. They are super critical and it can b said, place more than just a thumb on the scales when weighing the faults of others. This then feeds the Victims need of being the victim. Interestingly...The Victim can switch to become the Persecutor when the Rescuer steps in.
The Drama Triangle is being played out in every family, business and political scenario.
How to break free of it is refuse to be a player, no matter how the others try get you to play...they will, as they need the players to make this drama triangle to work to feed their own internal reward mechanisms. You will know the players, have worked with them and have possibley been a player yourself.
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