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Writer's pictureBruce

What is Happening Internally When You Feel "Torn Between" and Thus Unable to Move Forward?

Updated: Jun 8, 2020

We have all felt this to some degree, when you are torn between choices and have to either make a decision either way or defer, procrastinate or ignore the decision altogether.


A typical scenario is around taking in a new role or being offered a new job. Initially it is very flattering and great for your ego, but as you start to way up the pro's an con's, it becomes even more of a challenge.


The Pro's and Con's are not just about staying or going, but the remuneration, the shift in workload, the impact on communting perhaps and the impact on the work life balance. Both sides have a positive intent, which is in conflict. Both can carry equal strength and weight, hence why it is so hard to know what to do!


Often we just have to make a decision as a deadline sits behind the offer. When there is no deadline and the consequences, not making a decision allows procrastination and the dilema lingers on to create stress as the possible benefit fades away.


When you examine the pros and cons, the thinking tends to result in the same outcome, talking it through can also result in a different conclusion so the dilema may remain unresolved.


Often we can work through the more simple choices but sometimes it is really in the too difficult bag! Working out the pro's and cons just makes the decision harder, however there is a compromise to make!


If you are finding that a decision needs to be made and you are going around in circles, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) can help reach an internal agreement and therefore resolve the dilema. Only one session would be required for this.


A sunset scene with a blue sky to the top of the image, with streaks of red towards the horizon as the Sun sets.  In the foreground thre is a signpost with the direction arrows pointing in all directions.

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