Updated: Aug 17
Are you or some-one you know, struggling with anxiety and overwhelming emotions?
Being a qualified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, the most common issue my clients face is some form of anxiety or stress response! So why is this so common these days? It isn't, but it is being talked about more and people are more aware of it!
Here is what is happening and some ways to combat it yourself. Sometimes self talk does not work it needs a 1-2-1 session with an NLP Practitioner.
Situations do NOT cause anxiety nor stress ( Anxiety Behaviour / Response). These are caused by thoughts about the "Situation". We all react differently to situations because we all see the world differently! Each one of us use our Internal Representation of what the situation means and how we should respond:
Alfred Korzisky created the NLP presupposition " The Map is not the only Territory", meaning that our view of the reality is not reality itself, only our internal interpretation of what it is.
OK now we have that out of the way....lets look at what is actually happening:
We are now working from home! So what does that mean to me or you? It will be something totally different, so when a friend, partner or relative may say " Oh I know exactly how you feel"! They cannot, it is impossible, because only you know how you feel. What you don't know necessarily is "why" you feel this way?
OK, let whizz back a bit..Remember it is the thoughts that create the behaviour (response)
Now we can walk through this knowing where we are going:
You awake at normal work time ready to set off on your journey to work!
You suddenly remember you are not going to work today and then almost instantly yo
u will get a response. It may be feeling of joy that another hour in bed, or the feeling of dread of another day in the house! Perhaps with a heavy feeling that just sits in your tummy or seeing yourself being stressed and this is making you feel anxious and just wanting to run from the situation.
Wanting to run away is a normal response to danger, the problem here is that there is no danger, only a response to a situation that has got itself a bit distorted and therefore needs to be put straight. A trigger response that causes your feeling of Anxiety can escalate to even more reactions which may make the feelings even worse..the great news is, get rid of the initial trigger and all the rest cannot happen.
Let us put the Joy to one side as that's great and we can leave it there, we will focus on the Dread!
So the situation (Not going to work or something else ) caused the thought of "dread"! Why?
The dread then may also have an associated feeling too as it is a output of your internal filters, your map of the world! We all distort, generalise, delete facts when we think through an experience. The Traffic was Horrendous! Really? She is rude? Always? I never get a call from them! Never?
What are you dreading? What does Dread really mean to you. Break it down it what it means
Boredom, Lonely, no one to talk too, having to make more meals, more time in the house trying to entertain the children.
Which jumps out and makes the feeling or continued thought? So lets take Lonely...
Explain to yourself, perhaps write it down, what is it about lonely that creates this feeling of anxiety and then what you can do to combat each one:
Lonely: Lets really break that down into something you can do something about, because lonely is too general, what specifically do you mean?
No one to be with? So what can you do to make sure you talk to or see some-one at least once during the day? I don't know anyone? Check, you really don't know anyone? Really?
If you feel that your don't know anyone to talk to, who else where else can you pick up the phone to talk to some-one?
I feel isolated: What does that mean? I feel cut off from the outside world! Ok, so how can you reconnect safely? What is happening around you that you can become involved with, local repair/men's sheds, sewing clubs, modelling clubs, painting groups. These all now have online support or group sessions. I am not online! Ok, so where can you find out about what is going on so you can be part of a local group doing great things at home?
I just have the children to entertain all day? No adult company at all! So what can you do to have some adult company? I need to spend all day entertaining the kids? All Day?
Summary: When you really drill down into the thoughts your having about the situation you are in, break these down and put a solution in place, then there is nothing to cause that inital trigger to then start the chain of events that have caused the feelings of anxiety or stress.
If you have run through this and are still feeling like you did: Reach out and lets have a chat. Initial conversations don't cost a penny.
IMPORTANT Please note:
Clinical Depression and other mental health medical conditions are for mental health professionals. As NLP practitioners we are not qualified in those areas at all therefore always seek professional intervention in these cases and will advise to this effect if this is the case as we do check